#1 - driving with mama (save me)
pictured: me crashing the car to avoid a lecture (that’s actually never happened pls pray it doesn’t)
(if you’re reading this i’m kidding I love u!)
You know what's worse than Dubai traffic on at 5pm? Driving with my mom. I’m not even behind the wheel, I’m on trial. It's giving courtroom drama, or a live TED Talk titled “How Not to Drive, featuring Azka”. Every ride is a lecture series I didn’t sign up for (it’s summer pls no more uni).
Every. Ten Seconds.
"Brake!"
"You're braking too late!”
"Stay in your lane!"
“The traffic light is red!” (really? I thought it was purple).
Ma’am. I am in a lane. I am in life’s lane. Please let me be.
I’m 20 (basically). Let me driveeee let me learnnnnnnnnnn.
At this point, I feel like I will be 70, a head full of white hair and she will still disapprove. I drive your son and your nieces everywhere like you trust me with precious cargo but still don’t let me do it when I’m with you WHY?
And okay, fine, I may have gotten my first traffic fine ever last Friday. A whole 500 dirhams. I was informed after my very long nap after work because driving in these conditions is stresssssful. But let me explain (i live in Dubai should be explanation enough). It was not because I was speeding or anything cool like that (my dad has that covered). No. It was because one of those little electric scooter psychos zoomed across the pedestrian crossing, literally materializing from thin air. And of course, the new AI camera, that unforgiving snitch, saw it all (I wonder if it saw my mom yelling at me for exiting the community too fast right before that).
Still, the AI camera trusts me more than my own mother does.
So now I’m here, spiritually bruised, 500 dirhams poorer (my dad is, not me; unemployed and unpaid summer internship vibes), and still not allowed to reverse out of our own driveway without an entire press conference.
Please help. Like omg. Sedate me. Send thoughts, prayers, maybe a new license. Or a self-driving car that she can yell at instead of me 🫠. My one solution so far is never ever drive with her in the car; should be easy enough!
